I am a fucking adult..
Fool yourself into thinking that you are helping the economy by getting takeaway for the third time this week. Buy a keep-cup because you care about the environment but only use it once because you are too lazy to wash it. Make sure you have Black lives matter in your Instagram bio but don't do anything about it, don't even bring it up. Find a self-help guru and maybe just maybe if you give them enough money you won't feel so shit. While you are at it, get yourself a gym membership but make sure you never use it. Get yourself a TV and a Netflix subscription and binge-watch the latest show that everyone is talking about but don't watch it because you are too busy mindlessly scrolling on Facebook, maybe just maybe if you scroll some more you won't be lonely. What about your $1,500.00 phone that you never call your friends on, but hey at least you wish them Happy Birthday once a year. Never speak to your mother because she doesn't get you and talking to mothers is